The Story of My Grief

You know that term, fake it till you make it? What do you think of that?🤔

I think its an awesome way to be…close your eyes, & go for it!! Take a chance, take a risk…pretend you know what you are doing!🙌

But this time I was wrong. Faking that I was OVER IT!

I’ve been holding out on you. I have been pretending that it’s ALL GOOD.

On Dec 25th 2017, ONE year later —— I rubbed my palms together and said to myself, AND that’s a wrap, time to move on. I won’t talk about it, I won’t share about it, I’m done.

You’re supposed to be done!

GRIEF or my GRIEF — it’s far from over!

I have learned SO much in the past year and a half.

-I won’t send 💐…I’ll send WINE,🍷bring casseroles🍲 basically CARBS, thats helpful!😂

-I won’t ever say to someone grieving, “He’s always with you,” or “This is for the best,” “He put up a good fight.” not helpful…he’s not with me, the FIGHT sucked, and HONESTLY THIS IS FOR THE BEST???

Sometimes just listening, and asking “how are you doing”…that’s best!❤️

-There is NO timeline on GRIEF, don’t let anyone tell you that there is! It can hit at any moment and YOU deserve to take the time you need.

-Be more patient…you just never know if that person in the grocery store just lost their best friend, or if those eggs they just passed reminded them of that last batch of his favourite deviled eggs, they never took the time to make.😢

Yes so many lessons, life has changed. My favourite person is gone, I miss him—I know I shouldn’t ever have to fake that!

Last month I asked myself. MICHELLE — “HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL”, because this can’t be it.

The deep grief isn’t fun, the FOGGY stuff that only those who have lost will understand —it’s truly unbearable.

So onto another adventure as I stop faking it…time to work my way through it…because I want to feel alive, energized, and abundant … just the way he would want it!🤗

And you know it, I’ll be sharing the journey, but somewhere a little bit different this time…as one door closes something new always begins…welcome to www.michellepfile.com✨💫💞